Your children need you to say no
Saying no to your kids takes courage. They desperately need you to be courageous.
(Alternate title: The benevolent tyrant.)
Don’t give into societal pressure to allow your kids to do things you don’t want them to do. Be a tyrant.
This is the job. Take courage and stand strong.
The culture is seductive. All their friends are liberated and unconstrained. You have to be fearless in the face these pressures.
Love says no. When my kids ask me why I don’t let them do something that their friends are allowed to I respond with the (only slightly) tongue-in-cheek, “because I love you more than than their parents love them.“
Can I have candy for breakfast? No.
Can I go to a sleepover? No.
Can I play video games all weekend? No.
Can I watch a vulgar movie? No.
Can I watch a movie that is just a little vulgar? No.
Can I have the internet in my pocket? No.
Can I have a girlfriend? No.
Can I have boyfriend? No.
Can I be lazy? No.
Can I talk back? No.
Can I sulk in my room? No!
But in order to be a benevolent tyrant that wins the affection of your children you have to say yes more than other parents might.
Dad, can we do some gruelingly boring and unexciting yet morally upright activity that I love? Yes!
Dad, can I do something that is highly inconvenient for you but incredibly exciting for me? Yes!
Even find fun and exciting things for them to do on your own. Be proactive in winning their affections and molding their desires.
The culture we live in is toxic. The fight is everyday. The stakes are high. Never give in, never give up. Never, never, never give up.